


Keeping The Pace

by Sarasvati1920



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Foggy Nelson is a badass friend, Hurt/Comfort, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson Friendship, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Sick Matt Murdock, heart defect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarasvati1920/pseuds/Sarasvati1920
Summary: This takes place is some fictional time line where Nelson and Murdock has continued after Matt’s reveal as Daredevil. Karen, Foggy, and Matt all work together (Karen does freelance writing on the side).I wanted to explore the possibility that Matt’s damage from his accident as a kid was more than he let on...yet another secret.This was just a niggle I needed to get out of my brain....open to ideas as to where it should go.I do not own any of these characters ( I just like to play with them:)





	1. Something Was Off

Chapter 1 – Something Was Off

Matt ran his hand along the wall to his office. Karen watched him out of the corner of her eye; it was strange to see him do that again. Since his horned alter ego had been revealed Matt didn’t try to hide his abilities in front of them. He would take her arm in public, to keep up appearances, and because, as he had informed her...it was just easier sometimes. He had to concentrate to let everything in and sometimes he just wanted to walk, to just be. But here, in this office he knew so well, it seemed odd. She decided to let go but made a mental note to keep an eye on him. 

The day was uneventful, Foggy was in court, Matt worked on research for an upcoming tenancy case, Karen helped him and spent some time on a freelance article. Matt seemed to be in good spirits, he joked about her bad coffee, and his own bad choice in ties that day. It was an orange tie from Foggy’s cousin’s wedding, never meant to be worn in public again. 

“I guess I wasn’t paying attention to the labels this morning” he laughed. 

Karen smiled, but something was definitely felt off. She also noticed the every once in a while he would take a big deep breath; it was not something she had seen him do routinely. When she was ready to head out, she checked in with Matt who was still working. He had discarded his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. In the dwindling light he looked pale. 

“Hey, I’m leaving…you should too”. 

“Ya, I will soon. I just want to finish up a few things.”

Karen went over to him and placed her hand on the back of his neck, “get some rest tonight Matt”, she kissed the top of his head. 

He stopped reading and as she reached the front door he stammered, “K..karen?” 

“Ya Matt?” 

“Thanks”

“I’m always here” she said gently as she shut the door.

Although they hadn’t rekindled anything since Nelson and Murdock had resurrected itself, she couldn’t deny their connection. Whatever it was, or would be, or would never be…she loved him. He was family and she knew something was wrong.  
As she slid into a taxi she called Foggy. He had gone straight home after a long day in court. 

“Kare bear...I killed it today”, he sounded so happy she almost hesitated. “what’s up?”

“Hey Foggy, congrats you bad ass! So I’m calling about Matt”

“Oh jeez, what’s that stubborn Catholic vigilante done now?”

“Nothing, I mean I don’t know. He was acting off today” 

“What do you mean? Is he hurt?” Foggy questioned

“No, I don’t think so. He just…he used his hands for guidance a lot today and he just seemed a little down”

“Well, he does have off days sometimes, especially if he’s getting sick or something. Let’s see how he is tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok, I’m sorry for bringing you down Fog”

Foggy interrupted her “don’t start apologizing for caring, then you will sound like Matt”

Karen laughed, “Goodnight councilor”

“Good night Miss Page”

Karen’s heart felt a little lighter as she excited the taxi. She was probably making something out of nothing.   
**********


	2. The Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt Can’t hide it any longer

Chapter Two – The Office

 

The next morning, Foggy woke up early. He was still on a high from his victory but Karen’s phone call also stayed with him. He decided to take to the subway to Matt’s neighborhood and walk with him to work. It was something he had done often when they first opened Nelson and Murdock, but as they had gotten busier he let this routine slide. He knew Matt appreciated it when he did it, he had gone so far as to tell him that, which for Matt was a heartfelt conversation.

Since learning of Matt’s abilities, his lies and betrayal, their relationship had changed. Foggy’s anger and hurt eventually shifted, he now understood Matt better. He understood that these abilities were power to Matt; they were a strength in a world that treated him as less than. Foggy had seen this in college, when professors would ignore his requests for braille books; he’d seen it in colleagues who would talk down to Matt like somehow being blind affected his intelligence or ability to comprehend. Matt was always polite, he would smile and play along. But Foggy saw it. The way his face would change when he thought no one was looking, the way he fidgeted with his cane, and sometimes Foggy would get out of class early to find Matt in their room, sitting on the floor with his head on his knees. 

The world didn’t see Matt Murdock but Matt saw and felt everything. Foggy had immediately assumed all of this was a lie once he knew about Matt’s senses, but that was wrong. All of his pain, his discomfort from being blind was real and these extra senses had been what allowed him to survive. Foggy also realized that Matt did still need him, probably more than ever.  
Foggy knocked a melody on Matt’s door, not as a question but as an announcement. He walked right in to Matt’s apartment. 

“Hey bud, thought we could walk together.”

Matt was in his room, about to pick out a shirt and tie. 

“Whoa whoa whoa…let me pick out your tie today” Karen mentioned an orange tie incident?”

“ya, I thought I was going to get away with that one” Matt laughed.

“I know all Matthew” Foggy said in a loud theatrical voice.

Foggy handed Matt a white shirt and black tie, standard Matt Murdoch attire

“I’ll be in the living room, I got you a coffee”

Matt seemed fine, Maybe Karen was just being extra sensitive.

They walked to work chatting about cases, Marci, and the fact that Matt really needed a television.

“Come on Man, your place is way bigger than mine, we need to do movie nights there, and it smells better”

“I like your place, it smells like you”

“oh yay, and what do I smell like?”

“Coffee, irish spring, indian food” Matt laughed.

Foggy gently punched matt in the shoulder and Matt stumbled a little to the right.

A woman walking by gave Foggy a dirty look like ‘how dare you push a blind guy’

“Jeez sorry buddy, you alright today?”

“I’m fine, just getting a little cold or something, senses are a little off”

Foggy bumped Matt with his elbow and Matt gratefully took it. He was feeling a lot worse than he wanted Foggy to know, he hoped it was just a cold.

 

Most of the day Karen, Foggy, and Matt worked independently, their case load was pilling up and there was plenty to do. Around 2:00 Karen brought some files into Matt.

“Hey I need a quick signature so I can go file these”

Matt was standing on the side of his desk like he was on his way to her, finger tips of his left hand gently touching the desk. His gaze was directed toward the ground but something was wrong. His breath came in short quick spasms. 

“Matt?”

When she got a better look at him, his lips were a faint bluish pink and his skin was moist and pale. 

“Matt!” She grabbed his right hand and with her other hand around his waist ushered him to the chair in front of his desk.

“Foggy!” she yelled. “Matt what’s going on?” she asked as she placed her fingers on his pulse. “Your heart is racing”. 

Foggy was suddenly beside her. “Matt, can you breathe? Buddy is it your heart?”

All Matt could do was nod his head. Foggy stood and started to dial 911, he rested one hand on Matt’s shoulder, Karen was holding Matt’s hand.

“Yes, I need an ambulance. 30 yr old male, he is having trouble breathing, his heart beat is erratic, he has a pacemaker”. 

With this Karen looked up at Foggy, “what?!” 

Foggy just looked at her with an “I’m sorry” expression. 

“ok, ok, Foggy said to the operator “I’ll put you on speaker”. 

Foggy rested the phone on the desk. The 911 operators voice was clear and direct. 

“Ok Franklin, get Mat on the floor and raise his legs, you want to keep blood near his vital organs.”

Foggy faced Matt and held him under his arms. “alright Matty, I got you. Karen support his head”

Karen pushed the chair aside and they lowered Matt to the floor with his head resting on Karen’s lap. Foggy put Matt’s feet up on the other chair.

“His lips aren’t any pinker”, Foggy informed the operator. 

“Franklin, do you know how to do CPR?”

“What? Do you think?....oh god”

“Franklin, it may come to that. An ambulance in en route but do you know how to do CPR?”

“Yes, yes, I do, when do I…”

“As long as he is breathing on his own you don’t need to, just keep him as calm as possible, I’ll stay on the line until EMS arrives”

Karen was stroking Matt’s hair repeating a mantra “it’s ok, it’s ok, you will be fine”

Matt was taking short inefficient breathes, he looked out of control and terrified. His hands kept grabbing at the floor, searching for a way to steady himself.

Foggy grabbed Matt’s right hand.

“Matt, I’m right here buddy, you know how this goes, you will be fine, I’ll be right here”

At that moment EMS came in. Karen stayed where she was and Foggy moved to let them work. He informed them that Matt was blind, that he had had a pacemaker since he was 9, last surgery was 6 years ago. They connected Matt to and ECG and placed an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. Foggy knew Matt hated the way the plastic smelled but it beat the alternative. They placed a catheter and gave Matt an injection to try to normalize his heart rhythm. 

“We need to get him to metro general, we can take one of you,” said one of the paramedics.

Karen motioned to Foggy to go, “I’ll catch a cab” she said. 

They lifted Matt on the gurney and in an instant they were gone. Karen was left alone, sitting on the floor of Matt’s office, Matt’s black tie in her hand.


	3. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hospital. Karen has all the feelings:)

Foggy sat in the blue plastic chairs of the waiting room, the fluorescent lights flickered above him. He leaned his head against the wall. Karen stood in the hallway and just watched him for a moment. She was afraid to move. She inhaled deeply and decided today, today she would be the strong one. They needed her. She sat down next to him, Foggy didn’t move.

“Where is he?”

“they are stabilizing him and getting a consult with the cardiologist on call”

”Foggy, why? I didn’t..”

“I’m sorry Karen, it wasn’t my information to tell. You know how Matt is, he didn’t even tell me until Junior year and that was only because we got drunk and were talking about surgeries we had. He never wanted another reason for people to treat him differently and I get it ...you’ve seen it.”

“I...I have..I understand, I just...god, poor Matt. Was it from the accident?”

“Yes, the chemicals that took his sight also stopped his heart, they got him back but some damage was done.”

With that Karen put her face in her hands and sobbed. Foggy sat up and put an arm around her.

“I know Karen, this guy’s a freaking Shakespearean tragedy”.

Karen couldn’t help but laugh through her tears. “What can we do?” she asked.

“Nothing. We wait” Foggy said quietly.

An hour later Dr Warner, the cardiologist on call joined Foggy and Karen in the waiting area. “He’s stable now and resting. We have him on a constant infusion to correct his arrhythmia” .

Karen stared on his hands, they were worn, like he worked outside a lot. He was a pleasant man, likely in his 60s. He spoke slowly and quietly.

“So the pacemaker he currently has is not working. It is time to replace it” the Dr continued.

“when?” said Foggy and Karen suddenly realized Foggy was beside her. Somehow she had forgotten.

“We need to let him rest but it is important, we can’t keep him on these medications at these doses long term. If everything goes as expected I would like to schedule surgery for the day after tomorrow.”

Dr Warner continued to go through the procedure, the risks, and the recovery. Foggy let him know about Matt’s “fear” of hospitals. They agreed to try to minimize his post op time at the hospital if Foggy stayed with Matt and Claire stopped in daily.

“Ok, well I know that he would probably like to see you two, …oh I didn’t mean”.

”It’s ok Dr, thank you”.  Karen grabbed Foggy’s hand and they followed Dr Warner to room 405.

He introduced them to a short blonde nurse with tortiouse shell glasses.

“Karen and Foggy this is Cassie, she will be Mathew’s nurse tonight. Cassie, they can stay as long as necessary, Mr Murdoch is not a fan of hospitals and being vision impaired will only make that worse. Having his family nearby will be very helpful. Good night everyone, I will check in tomorrow”

“It is nice to meet you two” Cassie shook their hands warmly. “He is doing well. I will be back it a little bit but there is a call button on his bed if you need anything” .

And with that Karen and Foggy were alone in Matt’s room. They both stood in the doorway for a minute just staring. Matt looked so young for some reason. He had a oxygen canulla in his nose, the monitors beside him were beeping, one whooshed as it took his blood pressure. Karen had the sensation that she was looking at a 9 yr old boy who had just lost his sight and damaged his heart, all because he saved someone’s life. She saw Matt as a boy and her heart broke. She let out a loud sob, she tried to stifle it with her hand but Matt opened his eyes.

“Karen?”  He said—it sounded like an exhale.

Foggy went to him and grabbed his right hand. “we are both here Matty” Foggy sat in the chair by Matt’s beside.

“How are you feeling buddy?”

“tired, really tired”.

Karen was now by the other side of his bed. She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

“rest matt, we will be right here” she whispered. Her tears slid off her nose onto his face.

“Karen, i’ll be ok, everything’s ok” and he closed his eyes.

She ran her fingers through his hair and laughed quietly. “ Just like Matt to try to make me feel better in this situation”

“some things never change” Foggy replied.

“ wish I could do something” , Karen murmured. 

“you can, Karen why don’t you go home, get some rest and then stop by Matt’s on the way back” .

”Foggy I don’t want to leave him..what if something.. “

”There are some things he really needs, please Karen.”

She watched Matt for a moment , his pale face, those beautiful lips - now pink, the rise and fall of his chest..he's breathing. He is breathing..she thought to herself.

”ok,” she grabbed her phone ready to make a list. “What does he need?”

“a hoodie,  sweatpants, those dumb fuzzy socks, his pillow and that soft blanket from his couch, his noise cancelling headphones, a braille book, his laptop and braille reader”, Foggy listed.

“ OK, got it. How about you?”

”Just bring me some decent coffee tomorrow, it is going to be a long day.”

Karen put her hand on Matt’s cheek and ran her thumb under his eye. In that moment Foggy saw it. He saw how deeply Karen loved Matt, how much she hurt for him.

“Karen? He’s too stubborn to die..you know that right?”

”Call me if anything changes?”

”Of course.”

And Karen was gone. An hour later Matt woke up to the sound of something familiar, comforting..what was that? He couldn’t quiet make it out at first. The meds had dulled his senses and he felt tired and confused. Like he was floating in Fog…Fog..Foggy. That sound was Foggy..laughing. Matt opened his eyes ..

”Foggy?”

“Oh hey Matty, I didn’t wake you did I?..its just this movie is so funny..i guess I could use a laugh right now.”

“no, it’s fine. I like to hear you laugh. Feels like college..when things were simple.”

”hate to break this to you buddy but things with you were never simple”, Foggy laughed.

Matt smiled, that big goofy, ‘this is how I get the ladies’ smile and Foggy felt himself relax a bit.

”Want me to describe it to you?”

”That would be great Foggy”.

”Ok sit back relax and and let me tell you a tale” Foggy said in a singy songing voice.

Matt put his hand over Foggy’s “I don’t know what I would do with out you Fog” Matt said quietly, his voice sounded depleted. 

“Well lucky for you you will never have to find out, now you just have to make that same deal with me. Fight for your self as hard as you fight for others Matt, promise me.” Foggy was looking directly into Matt’s eyes.  He hoped Matt could sense that.

“I promise Foggy”.

”Ok..well our tale takes place in Southern California...” And Foggy went on to describe the entire movie with great flourish until Matt had fallen back asleep. Foggy squeezed Matt’s arm, “Please keep your promise Matty.”

Karen arrived early the next morning, Foggy was snoring on the cot next to Matt’s bed. She felt an overwhelming urge to hug him. Foggy was such a good friend to her and to Matt, there was no one like him. Her heart swelled with a rush of gratitude. Matt was sleeping on his side, slightly curled up. The oxygen line snaking over his ear. He still looked so young. She watched the two of them sleep wishing she could freeze this moment.

“Hey sleepy head”, Karen said quietly as she waved a fresh coffee in front of Foggy’s nose.

“argh..is that non hospital coffee I smell?”

”Sure is”

Foggy sat up and smiled at Karen, she looked beautiful, as always. She was dressed down today, ready for a long day of waiting and worrying. Jeans, brown boots, and a blue sweater that made her eyes look like the ocean. If Matt could see her, he would never of let her go..he thought.

Foggy looked towards Matt. They had him up all night, poking and prodding him. Poor guy couldn’t rest.

“I’m gonna go freshen up, will you...”

”I’m not going anywhere,” Karen sat down on the bed. She just wanted to be close to Matt. 

Whether he sensed her or he just woke up... Matt opened his eyes “Kare?”

”Goodmorning Mr Murdoch, you are looking well oxygenated today.”

”Oh good, definitely what I was going for,” he laughed.

She grabbed his hand and held in between both of hers. “How are you? Really? Worried?”

”No, I don’t think so. Death has never been something that scared me….it’s living that does that.” He smiled weakly at her.

“Well, I’m scared. Matt I just need to know that ..I get it. I forgive you and...” She touched the side of his face and leaned in “I love you” she whispered in his ear.

He grabbed both sides of her face and brought her nose to his. “I love you too Karen..and I am so sorry...for so much”.

She leaned in and kissed him, gently on the lips.

“I have promises to keep Karen, I’ll  be fine”.

She laughed as tears slid down her cheeks.

“what?” Matt laughed.

”That’s Matthew Murdoch’s number one line “I’m fine”

“Ya, well it happens to be true Miss Paige”.

Karen looked up just in time to see tears escape Matt’s eyes.

“Foggy and I will be right here, we are your family”.

As she sat in his bed Foggy reentered the room and went to Matt’s other side. He grabbed his left hand.

”We’ve got you buddy”. Matt sniffled and tried to suppress his emotions, but whether it was the meds, his condition, or just his affection for his friends, he could not stop the tears that cascaded down his face. Karen moved in closer and gently placed her head on his chest while she wrapped her arms around his waist. Foggy squeezed his hand. No one said a word.


	4. The Promise

Matt had an uneventful evening. Foggy and Karen hung out and watched movies, they played cards while he slept and Foggy even managed to get some work done.

Matt was stable and handling the hospital better than anticipated. Both Foggy and Karen went home for the night. When Karen got home she realized she still had one of Matt’s sweatshirts in her bag. She sat on her bed. It was dark in her apartment but she didn’t care. She traced the letters of “Columbia Law”. She brought the sweatshirt up to her face and inhaled as she curled onto her side. She fell asleep this way, fully clothed with her face pressed into Matt’s sweatshirt.

Karen and Foggy got to the hospital by 6am. Everything moved so quickly. They were able to see Matt for just a few minutes before they took him away. He had already been pre-meded. He slurred his words and seemed much more jovial than Foggy thought possible.

“Kick some butt Matty!” Foggy yelled as they wheeled him down the corridor. “And remember your promise!”

Foggy saw Matt’s hand give a thumbs up as the gurney went around the corner

“Promise?” Karen asked.

“”It’s between bros” , Foggy said...trying to appear stern. They both laughed.

 

Three hours later Karen watched Foggy pace...back and forth…back and forth. It was extremely irritating but she couldn’t blame him.

Matt had been in surgery for two hours already. They tried to play cards, watch tv, read, but nothing could distract them.

Karen was fiddling with her bracelet when Dr. Warner appeared an hour later.

“Miss Paige, Mr. Nelson?”

“Matt is doing well. There were some complications. His blood pressure was hard to stabilize for a bit, but the surgery itself went well. He’s in recovery now.”

Karen wrapped her arms around Foggy’s neck “ok Thank God” she exclaimed.

“Thank you Dr., Thank you,” Foggy said as he extended his hand to Dr. Warner.

“You are welcome, Your friend is a fighter. A nurse will be in later to go over recovery with you. You should be able to see him in a half hour or so.”

Foggy turned towards Karen who was still wrapped around him. He buried his head in her neck.

“shit, thank god. Stubborn jerk”

They both laughed and cried with relief.

 

The nurse explained that Matt would need to stay for at least 48 hours but after that he would be released into Foggy’s care. Foggy decided he would stay at Matt’s place for a few weeks. It was the larger apartment and he wanted Matt to be comfortable.

In the afternoon they were able to see him, the nurses had taken their advice and put Matt’s fuzzy socks on him and given him his silk pillow case.

Matt smiled at them when they entered the room

“Heyyyy it’s my family…Cassie it’s my people”

“Yes, Mr. Murdoch it sure is”

She smiled up at Karen and Foggy, “how does he do that?” she whispered.

“Oh,” Karen grinned...”he smells my perfume..”

“and Foggy’s musk” Matt said, a little too loud.

“Wow, ok those are some good drugs” said Foggy.

“Sure are, he’s feeling no pain at the moment” Cassie said. “But really, what a sweet heart. I’m so glad everything went well” she walked by a squeezed Karen’s arm.

Karen and Foggy took their seats on either side of Matt’s bed. Matt put his hands up like he was about to fly. It took them a moment to realize what he wanted before they each grabbed a hand.

“Well Matthew you will live to see another day” Foggy said

“I don’t see shit” replied Matt and they all laughed.


	5. Adjusting

It had been two weeks since the surgery and Matt had been doing well. Foggy worked from Matt’s place for the first week and like magic every time he had to meet a client or go to court Karen would show up. He felt like he was being baby sat, although he didn’t mind completely.

Things had been different this time. The pace maker didn’t immediately stop his arrhythmias. Apparently it took time to calibrate and learn from Matt. He occasionally had abnormal beats that made him dizzy, he was happy to have someone around. Dizzy and blind don’t make a great combination. On this Monday morning Matt was walking into the office with Foggy. He had practically begged Foggy to let him work. He was going crazy at home. Foggy acquiesced as long as Matt agreed to a taxi and a long lunch break.

Everything has been going well, until Matt got up to show Foggy something on his lap top – there was some info the braille reader was misinterpreting. He made it to Karen’s desk but suddenly felt like someone put his heart in a jar and shook it. He dropped the lap top and swayed. Karen was up instantly.

“Matt!” She grabbed he arms and guided him to a chair.

Foggy hear the commotion, “Matt”? He knelt in front of him and checked his pulse as Karen loosened his tie.

“Alright Matty, just try to relax, it should correct itself. He felt like his was on a rollercoaster, nausea rose until he couldn’t control it. “Trash” he was able to stammer.

Karen grabbed the small garbage by her desk and thrust into his hands.

He vomited as the world spun. He didn’t know if he was upside down or right side up.

“Oh Matty, it’s ok” Foggy still has his finger on Matts wrist. Your heart rate is slower, it’s ok. You should feel better soon”

He sat back and Karen took the garbage out of the room, she returned with a small cup of water. His hand shook and she helped him bring the water to his lips.

“I’m sorry guys”

“Matt! “ They both yelled.

“Oh ya, I forgot...forbidden words” he smiled.

After about 10 minutes Matt was already feeling better, he knew Foggy had a client coming in soon.

“I’m ok guys, I’m going to head to my office and get out of your hair’

Karen and Foggy just looked at each other

“Uh Guys? Stop.” He said

“What?” Karen and Foggy said in unison

“The look? I practically felt it. If I am forbidden from saying the word then stop giving me reasons to want to say it” Matt slowly got up from the chair, testing for any residual dizziness before he moved.

“Ok, well I’m going to hang in your office with you while Foggy meets with the client. “ Karen offered

She walked closely behind Matt ready to reach out a hand if needed.

Matt didn’t offer a reply other than an audible sign.

“Keep that up Murdoch and I’m cooking fish for dinner”, Foggy yelled as he walked to his office.

 

After the client left Foggy worked on research for awhile, he was so lost in the case he didn’t even realize how late it was.

“crap!” he exclaimed. The sound of a chair falling echoed through the office

Matt flinched slightly “Alright there Foggy?”

Foggy was now leaning in the doorway of Matt’s office. He had his bag and suit jacket slung over his shoulder. “Ya, I just forgot I am supposed to meet Marci at 7 for a quick drink”.

He met eyes with Karen who looked up from her typing. She was sitting across from Matt at his desk, one leg tucked under with her shoes off. Papers were in neat rows around her. Foggy could tell everyone had been working hard today. Matt looked tired but good, working was probably good for him. Foggy knew Matt needed to feel productive.

“Well, I am starved. What do you say Matt…how about we head to your place and I cook us a feast?” Karen said while she gathered her hair to the side.

Matt knew what she was up to, yet another night of daredevil sitting. But he appreciated his friend’s concern. “Ok, as long as it’s not fish”, Matt replied.


	6. How do you see the world?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen and Matt take a stroll to the store. Karen has become more curious about Matt’s world

Chapter Six – How Do You See the World?

Matt begged Karen to let him walk to the store, she agreed with the stipulation that they would take a cab from there to his apartment.

It was a beautiful spring evening. It had rained earlier and everywhere Matt smelled damp grass and flowers waiting to bloom. It seemed that even in the city the smells of nature were stronger when it rained. He loved the rain because of this. Rain gave him a different picture of his city.

Matt stopped and took a breath. He could breathe just fine. He just had an overwhelming urge to take in the moment. He was always paying attention to the bad. Seeking out despair and fear, tying to right the wrongs. He often ignored the good, the beautiful, the simple.

“You okay Matt?” Karen asked

Matt was holding lightly to her elbow. “Yes, I am just happy to be here, with you.”

“I’m happy we are here too” she smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Come on, I am going to make you the best chicken tacos you have ever had” She pulled her arm slightly and he followed.

 

Karen had never stopped to consider how Matt shopped. As they walked into the store she stopped.

“So this may be a dumb question, but how do you know where things are? What they are?” She felt slightly embarrassed asking.

He smiled, “well I do know this store well so that helps. When we first moved into the office Foggy brought me here and showed me around. It’s easy for me to tell produce on my own, but some of the dry goods can be tougher to decipher. Honestly, I do a lot of my shopping online and have it delivered.”

Karen thought about Foggy, all the small ways he helped Matt. Neither one of them probably even thought about it, it was just the way things were.

After gathering supplies for tacos and a bottle of red wine, they grabbed a taxi. They sat with the groceries between them. Matt fiddled with his cane and Karen couldn’t help but sneak glances at him.

“Hey Matt, what do you see? Like right now?” she said this quietly so the cabby wouldn’t hear.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, whenever I’m in a car I look out the window, people watch etc… what’s it like for you?” She had this need to understand him better. Since his two secrets had been revealed she felt bolder and more curious. What was the world like for Matt?

No one had even truly tried to understand him like that. He knew it was his fault. He never truly let anyone in. Foggy was the only one and even he hadn’t asked him questions like this.

He leaned closer to her and whispered, “I paint a picture… our cabby had pizza for lunch, with sausage. I can tell he’s warm and little over weight. In the front seat there is an apple that probably has one more good day left. Outside the air is changing, the rain has held off for a few hours but the air is getting heavy again. It will probably be raining by 9pm. We just drove past a young girl with a dog, a medium sized hairy dog. He is excited because she has a box of biscuits in her bag. And you, Miss Paige are impressed.”

“Well how can you tell that?” 

“Because the more I said the faster your heart went” Matt replied quietly. He was so close Karen could feel his breath in her ear.

She sighed and leaned back into the seat. “You are trouble Matthew Murdoch”

“That’s what the nuns use to tell me”, he smirked.


	7. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karen makes dinner for Matt but the night doesn’t go as planned.

\-- Chapter Seven - The Dinner

Back at his apartment Matt went into his room to change, he couldn’t wait for the relief of his sweat pants and fuzzy socks. The material was so much softer against his skin.

Karen busied herself in the kitchen. She was chopping up onions when Matt came over.

“What can I do?” he asked.

“I am making dinner for you Matt, you can open the wine and then go sit and only one glass for you!”

“Karen let me help. How else are you going to teach me to make these amazing tacos?”

“Need I remind you Mr. Murdoch that you had heart surgery two weeks ago, you should not have been at work today, you should not have walked to the store, and you probably should not be having wine with your pain meds… So go sit your butt down!” she yelled, in a playful way.

Matt laughed, that head tilted back goofy laugh. Karen felt warmth spread through her chest.

“Well Nurse Paige I haven’t taken my pain meds in a week, I think I can have some wine. And how about I sit AND help you chop up vegetables?”

“ugh, fine! Wait, why haven’t you taken your meds?”

“I meditate to help with the pain and it hasn’t been too bad. Pain meds make me feel out of it and disconnected. They make it hard to interpret things…spatially”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Just don’t overdo it Matt”, Karen said softly. She looked up at him as he grabbed a cutting board. He winced slightly as he reached for a knife.

“Me?, not my style” he smiled.

Matt sat at the table and chopped up peppers while Karen sautéed the chicken. They talked casually and easily about Karen’s family, where she went to school, her high school boyfriend. Karen made every effort to have Matt stay put. She grabbed the peppers as soon as he was done. He looked tired and his breathing was more noticeable than it had been all day.

“Hey Matt, I’m just going to throw these in the oven. Why don’t you head to the couch and sit down? I think we should eat in there and maybe watch a movie? It will be fun.”

Foggy had brought his TV over when he decided to stay with Matt, apparently he could not live without Call of Duty. And with all of the entertaining Matt had been doing the TV had come in handy.

“Sounds good” Matt said. 

Karen thought that was easier than she anticipated. She watched him sway slightly as he stood up but he made it over to the couch and leaned his head back. When Karen came over to sit next to him his eyes were closed. She placed her wine on the table and sat sideways to face him, her right leg tucked under her. She ran her finger tips across his forehead. It felt a little warm. She placed her palm on the side of his face.

“Matt, you feel warm. Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m fi..” he stopped himself and smiled. Eyes still closed.

“I think the day is catching up with me”

“I’m grabbing the thermometer”. She squeezed his arm as she stood up.

She returned a minute later.. “say ahh” she said as she slipped the thermometer under his tongue.

3 seconds later it let out several fast beeps

“100.3, Ok Matt if it makes it to 101 you have earned an all-expense paid trip to the ER” Karen stated.

“Ugh, no way…Let’s eat dinner. I really don’t feel that bad” Matt said, trying to sound lighthearted.

With that the oven timer went off. Several minutes later Karen presented Matt with chicken tacos and a side of Tylenol. She also switched out his wine for water.

They were both so hungry they didn’t say much while they ate but Matt could feel Karen watching him, she probably wanted to make sure he didn’t fall face first into his tacos.

“You know, even with a chest wound and a fever, those were the best chicken tacos I have ever had”

“Told you Murdoch” Karen said as she took his plate from him.

Karen washed the dishes. While she was in the kitchen she texted Claire ‘Matt has a temp of 100.3, I’m here with him. When should I worry?’

Claire responded quickly ‘call me if it hits 101, any higher than that just go to the ER’

Karen left her phone on the counter and went to join Matt. He was seated in the same position but with a blanket pulled across his lap. He had placed his glasses on the table. He had been wearing them less around her lately. She knew that Foggy was the only other person he did this with…it felt like an honor somehow, like Matt was letting her see him. She sat beside him and pulled a little on the blanket. 

“share,” she scolded. 

“So comedy or thriller?,” she asked. As she grabbed for the remote Matt winced and made a pained grumble.

“Matt?”

He had his left hand over his chest, his face looked pale and damp

“What is it?”

“It just…it just hurt for a minute… my chest is feeling a little sore” he sounded breathless

Karen was concerned, really concerned. She knew there was no way to hide it from him so she tried to comfort him. “Here, Matt. Lay back.”

She helped him lay down and brought his feet up onto the couch. She grabbed a pillow from his bed to put under his head and tucked the blanket around him. She went to grab a damp wash cloth and when she returned she sat on the coffee table in front on him. She placed the damp cloth on his forehead and held her hand over it. 

“Are YOU worried?” she asked. “Because you know that I am.”

Something had been bothering Matt the past 24 hours or so. Not a feeling so much as a smell, a faint sweet smell near his chest. He knew it could be the beginning of an infection. He had hoped the antibiotics would take care of it, but his fatigue and this fever were proving him wrong.

“Kare, I think there might be a slight infection in my incision”

“What?! Matt!”

“Can you just take a look?” he asked as he closed his eyes.

She removed the blanket and unzipped his hoodie. He had a bandage covering the site. Foggy had been helping him keep it clean when Matt allowed him to. He took a quick intake of breath as she removed the tape.

“oh, sorry Matt”

“It’s ok,” he smiled with his eyes closed.

Karen didn’t consider herself a medical expert but anyone could tell his incision had become infected. The edges had red streaks running from either side and a thick discharge was coating the sutures, which had been due to come out tomorrow.

“I’m calling Claire”, Karen stated as she got up to retrieve her phone.

Matt didn’t say a word. He suddenly felt worse, even though he was laying down the world started to tilt. Like he was on a wave that was pushing him forward. He could hear Karen but she was muffled somehow. All he heard was, “Yes, I’ll be here” and “see you soon.”

As she turned to tell him Claire was on her way she saw Matt get up and stumble to the bathroom, his hand over his mouth.

She chased after him and watched him collapse on the floor just in time to reach the toilet.

She kneeled next to him and rubbed his back. “Ugh Matt, I’m sorry…this sucks”

Matt didn’t respond, he held onto the toilet with one hand and his chest with the other. Karen grabbed a hand towel, wet it, and put it on the nape of his neck. Matt vomited for the next five minutes. It was agonizing to watch and Matt groaned without realizing it.

When he was done he leaned against the wall. Karen rewet the towel and placed it on his forehead. She could tell Matt was too weak to move. The only thing that gave her comfort was the knowledge that Claire would be there soon.

“Matt?” She sat beside him and grasped his hand. 

Without saying a word he leaned over and placed his head on her shoulder. She reached over and put her other hand on the side of his face.

“It’s ok, Claire is on her way”, Karen whispered.


	8. The Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason for Matt’s bad evening is revealed. Claire is less than pleased;)  
> Sorry it took so long for an update. If you are liking this I will continue it...  
> Happy reading!

Chapter 8 – The Mistake

“What the hell Matt?!” Claire burst into the bathroom 10 minutes later. Matt had not moved from Karen’s shoulder. She could feel heat radiating from him and his breathing was audible. They hadn’t said much other than Karen offering quiet reassurances.

“Claire, he’s been sick and he’s burning up”, Karen automatically rubbed Matt’s hand.

Claire crouched down in front of them and tilted Matt’s head up towards the light. His face was pale and slick, his breaths came out in short wet gasps. She opened her bag and grabbed an aural thermometer and placed it in his ear. Instantly it beeped….103. 

“Shit” Claire exclaimed.

Without saying anything further she unzipped his hooded. His incision was no longer covered as Karen did not get that far. 

“Matt! Have you even been taking your meds?!” Claire yelled

“Yes, the important ones” he said quietly, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Oh, and which ones Dr. Murdock are the important ones?” she stated angrily. She was running out of patience with Matt’s refusal to take care of himself.

“The antibiotics.”

Claire stood up and left the room. Karen heard a frustrated “Ugh!” come from the kitchen.

Claire reappeared, her face was tense and she was holding a pill bottle. 

“These antibiotics Matt?!” she shook the bottle. “This practically full bottle of antibiotics?!”

Matt opened his eyes. “Wait, what? No! I have been taking those twice a day!” he put out his hand.

Claire placed the bottle in his palm. She noticed that his hand shook slightly. That small effort was almost too much.

He opened the bottle and smelled it. “These aren’t the antibiotics.”

“Yes, yes they are Matt! Did you think these were the pain meds?”

“I…I guess so. Foggy let me take care of the meds. I thought I had it straight. No wonder I hadn’t been feeling too bad…until now.”

“Yes, until now!” she was now yelling. “Until now when you have red streaks down your chest and a massive fever, until now when you are probably septic!”

Karen was just sitting there, still next to Matt. They should have been monitoring this more closely but they wanted Matt to feel comfortable, they couldn’t strip him of all his independence. It would have back fired immensely.

“Claire?” Karen asked. “What we you do now?”

“Now? Now we go to the hospital. The only question is do we need ambulance or not”

“No. No. No” murmured Matt, getting louder each time.

Karen grabbed his hand again and turned toward him. “You have to, this has gone too far. Do you think you can walk?”

 

Matt didn’t say anything but he hung his face forward and tears slid down his cheeks. Karen brought her forehead in to touch the side of his face. “You got this Murdock. This is nothing” she whispered.

He choked out a tear filled laugh.

“Ok” said Claire. She knew something was happening between Matt and Karen and it didn’t affect her the way she would have anticipated. It didn’t hurt. It seemed natural and sweet. She hoped he would let Karen in, he needed to.

“Let’s go, my cab is waiting. I anticipated something like this”. Claire said.

Claire went to Matt’s side and grabbed his arm, she instructed Karen to do the same on the other side. They were able to get him up. He was very unsteady and his head kept drooping forward.

“God dammit Matt, you are a walking radiator” Claire sighed.

Matt was quiet. It took all of his concentration to put one foot in front of the other.

They managed to get him into the back of the cab without incident. He was positioned between them, his head back against the seat. Claire has grabbed a wet towel on the way out and had it draped across his forehead. She kept checking his pulse. “His heart rate is going up” she mentioned to Karen.

“What does that mean?”

“It means the infection is likely in his blood”

“Won’t the pacemaker help?” Karen asked

“Once it gets high enough it will, but that’s not the issue. He’s needs broad-spectrum IV antibiotics.”

Claire stared at Matt, his hair was slick with sweat and his lips were dry and cracked. “Why do you have to make everything so complicated?” she scolded.

“I don’t think he knows any other way”, Karen replied.

—————————————————————-

At the hospital Claire had disappeared with Matt. Karen headed to the waiting area to call Foggy. She hesitated for a moment. She wanted to give him a night. He had been so dedicated to Matt for past two weeks she felt guilty ruining it. Although, she didn’t want to deal with his wrath if she didn’t call him. She hit number two on her speed dial.

“As I am currently getting drunk with a gorgeous attorney who may like me……what?!” he sounded happy and relaxed while pretending to be annoyed.

“Foggy I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…” Karen stuttered.

“Matt? What’s wrong?”

Karen could hear Foggy pushing back a chair and Marci’s voice questioning him.

“It’s ok Foggy. Don’t leave your dinner. We are just…Matt’s at the hospital.”

“I’m on my way Karen”…

“It’s ok, don’t rush. He’s ok and he will probably be here awhile…don’t...”

“I’m on my way” and he hung up.

Karen should have expected that reaction but she really wanted him to trust that she could handle it. Plus some part of her liked being the one who was there for Matt. It may have been selfish but she liked feeling that he needed her. He so rarely seemed to need anyone.

Karen settled herself in a seat by the vending machine. For two hours she watched worried people fight with crumpled dollar bills and fora little while the city felt smaller. Foggy had been sleeping beside her for an hour, after the hospital staff refused to let him back to see Matt. She preferred sleeping Foggy to angry and slightly intoxicated Foggy.

The ER Doctor came out to speak them around 2am. Foggy was lying across three chairs, sound asleep. Karen could not close her eyes until she knew Matt was ok. She couldn’t believe this was the same day they had walked to the store together. Matt had seemed fine, but she guessed he had many years of practice ‘seeming fine’. Karen pinched Foggy on the leg to wake him up just as the Dr approached.

Dr. Rutledge confirmed Claire’s suspicions; “Matthew does have an infection that had spread to his blood. We will be treating him with IV antibiotic for 48 hours. If all goes according to plan he should be able to continue treatment at home after that. The most important thing now was for Matt to rest…we will follow up with his cardiologist tomorrow.”

“Can we see him Dr?” Karen asked.

Claire appeared behind the Dr. “Matt is awake and asking for them, maybe just let them say goodnight? Hospitals are hard for him”, Claire interjected.

Dr Rutledge nodded. “Ok Claire, let’s keep it brief and let Mr Murdock rest.”

Claire led Foggy and Karen down the hall. “How is he, really Claire?”

“He’s ok. They have him on some nice pain medications so he is relaxed. The fever has taken its toll though. He is exhausted.”

Claire walked in first and checked the chart at the end of Matt’s bed. Foggy stood near her in order for her to interpret Matt’c condition for him. Karen went to Matt’s side. His eyes were closed and his face seemed less tense than it usually was. His skin was damp and the haor around his forhead had small beads of sweat. Karen lightly pushed his hair back.

Matt opened his eyes slowly and looked past her.

“”Karen?” he said quietly

“Yes, Foggy, Claire and I are all here. We wanted to say goodnight”

“Hey Buddy” Foggy said as he came around to Matt’s other side. “You are in big trouble Murdock. I was on my way to getting lucky”. Foggy squeezed Matt’s arm.

Matt laughed quietly. “There’s still time Fog”

“Ummm Matthew ...it’s like 3 in the morning. I think that ship has sailed….or passed out.”

“Speaking of passing out,” Claire said as she checked Matt’s I.V. “We should all get going and let you rest.”

Foggy squeezed Matt’s arm one more time. “I will be back tomorrow Buddy, try to behave.”

“You too Foggy” Matt said with forced enthusiasm

“Me?! I’m always on my best behavior. Unlike you…Mr. medication mixer upper” Foggy laughed as he left the room. 

Claire followed behind. “Get some sleep Matt”, she ordered.

Karen lingered. Her hand was resting on Matt’s. “I will be back in the morning, ok?”

Matt swallowed audibly as if trying to force something down.

“Hey, are you ok?” she said as she moved her hand to his cheek.

He leaned into her touch. “I just wish….I wish you could stay.”

Karen moved both of her hands to his face and kissed his cheek. He was salty and hot.

“I’m not going anywhere”, she whispered into his ear. “Security will have to drag me away”.

Matt smiled. “My money’s on you”, he said.

“Mine too,” she replied.


End file.
